Day 0
Since I am going to talk about yesterday, I thought it would be appropriate to call it day 0. To begin with, hi there, I am Inch, the caterpillar as people here call me. I will one day become a monarch butterfly, which is you, for whom I have decided to write this journal. Why? Why do the butterfly that I will one day become need to know what I have to say? Hopefully, you will find out as you read along. In case you haven’t come to know by now, 9 out of 10 larvae of the monarch butterflies end up remembering our days as larvae even after our apolysis, that is our transformation into a butterfly. However that is not the case with most of the other caterpillars. Once they form the pupa, what comes out of it is an entirely different being who would have no memory of its life as a caterpillar.
Then why should I write this for you if you are going to remember all the events anyway? We shall search for the answers as we take this adventure together. Firstly, it was Cynthia who talked me into doing this. There is a lot to talk about her but that can wait. Let me first introduce myself to you, my future self. As I have said, I am Inch and I was born in the Mulberry garden to the east of the lake; the thick bushy garden with the giant oak tree at the center. Like most of our kind, I too didn’t spend time with my parents as you might now know, butterflies migrate often leaving their eggs behind for fate to play with. With not many caterpillars to care for at the mulberry, I decided to leave it in search of my/our father. It is only through the stories I heard of him that I came to know about his life and his whereabouts. It is believed that he lives in the milkweed garden on the other side of the lake; the direction in which the sun sets every evening. For whatever reasons, I decided to leave my old life behind in search of a new one, for me and eventually for you. At dawn yesterday, before the colony woke up to start their never ending feast of the mulberry greenery, I embarked on this journey. It was tiresome especially because of my inability to move swiftly though the shrubs and because of all the predators. There were robins, sparrows and even slimy toads along the path and after an entire day I could only reach the lake.
Little did I know that the best was waiting for me; or that’s what I am hoping as of now. As the wind became colder in the evening I couldn’t take it any longer and decided to rest for the night. Just as I was about to wrap myself in a leaf, I saw a green colored caterpillar, definitely not a monarch kind, gathering leaves and berries. I followed him slowly as he returned to his burrow in the big tree with the black trunk close to the bank of the lake. I wasn’t sure what to expect there as I have never been outside my garden all my life and frankly I have no idea about the life of these outsiders. But because it was getting dark, cold and there was smell of rain that might show up any time, I decided to take a chance and boy wasn’t it a good decision?!
The caterpillar I saw was Morus, the best gatherer of leaves to the west of the lake, his words, not mine. But any story about Morus is incomplete without mentioning the love of his life Cynthia. Yes, I know you understand this feeling as now, you are a butterfly and you are capable of loving. But the thing with caterpillars is that not many of us have the ability to love. That is not part of the life as caterpillars we are expected to lead. We are supposed to eat, eat some more, then eat again to become fat and then choose a safe place for our apolysis and then cease to exist as we forgo our consciousness and identities to become butterflies who never even acknowledge our existence. But Morus and Cynthia are different. From this brief interaction I had with them from last evening, after being in the receiving end of their generous hospitality, and especially after what happened last night, I pray that my journey, which has now become our journey ends well, if not for me, at least for them.
As I was saying, after allowing me in for a quick bite and introducing me to his Cynthia, that’s what he said, his Cynthia, Morus took me on a short tour of the tree from where we saw the sun set. He spoke about how the few caterpillars in that small burrow came from different gardens there and they all are going to be different butterflies. He also spoke about how Cynthia is all that he has in this world and that she was all he ever wanted.
“We are not as lucky as you Inch. We are not going to be monarch butterflies. We will be the kind that cannot even remember our own lives.”
I did not know what to say to that. He seemed sad and just as Cynthia came in with a few more berries, he smiled and kissed her. They then asked me where I was from and where I was headed. I wasn’t sure if I should reveal all that so I just said I was out to visit the lake as perhaps find a new habitat for my friends back in the garden.
“Will you be joining us tonight at the event then?” Cynthia asked me.
“What event?”
“What event????” they both reciprocated in unison looking at each other wide eyed. “Don’t you know what today is? It is going to rain tomorrow, that means tonight there will be fire flies.” Cynthia said with a glow in her face.
I remember hearing about the night of the fireflies back in the garden. But now that I have been there to witness it directly, it was truly a spectacle. I accompanied the couple, Morus and Cynthia to the edge of a branch where they sat together facing the lake. I too joined them sitting at a distance not disturbing their moment but anxious to see what was going to happen. As I went on inspecting the surroundings, I saw several other caterpillars, beetles and other bugs in that tree sitting in groups on different branches facing the same direction. The weather was calm and the breeze, cold. Out of nowhere came this swarm of bees buzzing in perfect harmony hanging in the air. It was like music and then the truly magical thing happened. In that pitch darkness, one after the other, tiny green lights began to appear, growing in numbers by the second. The bees changed tunes as if they were in sync with the tiny lights, which were now flying in all directions. Morus and Cynthia were holding each other in silence and I, for the first time felt jealous because of my inability to love.
“You know inch… not all of us are as lucky as you.” Morus said signaling me to come closer.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, since we are almost close to our apolysis, our time together will end soon and even though we as beings continue to exist with a greater ability to love as butterflies, the moment we are out of that pupa, we become strangers to each other.”
Cynthia wiped the tears of his face failing to control her own.
“That is why I keep a journal where I write all that I want my future self to know to fall in love with this same idiot once again.” Cynthia said hugging Morus. “You need not do it right? You have the gift of memory. All monarchs do.” She sighed.
“You know not all memories are worth keeping.” I said.
“Ummm.. true. In that case you need to find the mad monarch in the west and create your memories by writing your own journal.” She said trying to laugh. I had no answer for her.
Cynthia and Morus seemed so endearing to me. I have never known what love felt like and I have never known my parents, at least in person but at that moment, they felt like family to me. I wanted them to be happy and that means together. We were in need of a similar solution from a similar source but are looking for two entirely different things.
I don’t know if I was carried away in the whole magic of the night or it was due to the sudden disappearance of the fear of consequences with which I had left the garden in the morning. The bees and the fireflies began receding and it started to drizzle when I went closer to them and whispered,
“I am not here as a visitor. I am a runner. I came out of my colony in search of my father.”
They were taken aback as it was unexpected.
“Who is your father Inch?” Cynthia asked while Morus waited for my answer.
“Danaus.” I proudly said. “I understand if you think I am crazy and I already owe you for all that you have done for me today. But I know what I said is true and I am going to cross the lake and find him.”
“Danaus!!??”
“Danaus..” I repeated.
“You mean Danaus, from Danaus-and-Petri is your father?”
“Yes.”
“Danaus, the mad monarch??”
“Yes”
“That makes Petrichor your mother…”
“Yes, I suppose it does.”
They looked at each other in what I thought was disbelief.
“You are now going to meet Danaus and you know where he is?”
“Yes, I know where he is and I will find him no matter what. I need to find him.”
A long silence followed. The fireflies left and all that I could hear were the rain drops falling on the dry leaves below. The winds became colder as the rain intensified,
“Then make some room Inch. You have two more caterpillars to accompany you.” Cynthia said
To be continued….
The Cannibal 