Mann ki Blog #4

Hello my dear readers and welcome to another edition of Mann ki blog, where I talk about unimportant things and waste your time. In case you are wondering why I have not been active on this blog lately, even though I am feeling little shy, I have to tell you that I am trying my hand at writing a six-part fictional series. I will post the first part as soon as possible. In this edition, I would like to talk about an incident that made me question (for the millionth time) what morality is and wonder pointlessly about my own morality.

My boss was absent to work that day and I came to know from my colleagues that his mother had passed away the previous night. He is one of the the kindest persons I have met in my life and undoubtedly the best boss I ever had. I genuinely felt bad for him. I might be socially awkward but not entirely apathetic. Please keep in mind that I will not try and justify my actions. I do not even know if there is anything to justify. At the same time I cannot lie to myself. As I said, I felt genuinely bad for my boss but immediately, like always, began to calculate his mother’s age to compare it with the life expectancy of the country. I some how feel that the volume of grief should be proportional to that ratio. That day however, something unusual happened.

Part of my job then was to prepare the Structural liquidity statement (SLS) of the bank everyday. Even though I prepare several other reports and notes, SLS was what I was famous for. On that particular day, I did not feel like doing it. Maybe it was because the news of death ignited thoughts about life, pushing me down an existential crisis, making me question how the bank’s liquidity position for the day will add meaning to my life or may be I was plain bored. I do not know. Whatever the reason was, I decided to do something. I suggested to my colleagues that we should all go and visit my boss at his home. Everyone liked it and even appreciated me for coming up with the idea. Did I do it out of concern for my boss? Was it just to escape work? Yes and yes.

There is something magical about leaving work (or school) on a working day. By the time we reached, there were already so many people. They have not taken the body away yet so some people were still crying and some people were making arrangements. Some of my seniors went and spoke with my boss who looked very tired. I stood at the back of our group and did not say anything to anyone. We stayed there for about half an hour and returned. I did not feel like going back to the office. I wanted to stay a little longer.

As soon as I began working on the liquidity statement, a thought came to me. It made me wonder. Wonder what was wrong with me. I was willing to spend time in a group that was mourning, near a dead body, listening to people cry, instead of being at my desk working. I was even willing stay a little longer. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it because I hate my job so much? Or am I immoral? Do I feel guilty about it? Was I disrespectful to my boss?

Morality is confusing in that way. It is a strange thing. Ethical relativism says that the so called ethics and values are dependent on time and space. They cannot be applicable universally. Then there are those ethical nihilists who basically do not give a fuck at all. However, moral high ground, from my limited understanding, comes from the position that you are in rather than what the incident is. For example, one of you readers could be an animal rapist, a kidnapper or a wife beater but you can still take the moral high ground while deciding that what I did was immoral.

Elaborating on that, if someone arrogantly blocks the road with their vehicle causing a traffic jam, everyone stuck there would definitely blame that person irrespective their eligibility. A child molestor, probably still molesting a child in the car will still take the moral high ground while judging the guy who caused the traffic jam. I am not saying that it is right or wrong. I am just pointing out that it is what that happens. There are no degrees and levels.

“Don’t these people have common sense?” the child molestor might even say.

What is the lesson from the whole experience? Nothing really. I did however waste my time, first thinking about it and then writing about it. As if that was not enough, I wasted your time by making you read about it. But to be fair, events like these demonstrate time and again how complex things can really be and how nothing can be evaluated on their face value. They make me better appreciate the simpler things.

Before concluding, I have to tell you this: later that night, my boss texted everyone thanking us for visiting. Such a true gentleman he is. It is that text message which made me write all this.

So that is all for this edition my dear readers. My apologies if you find this boring and pointless. I hope to see you next time. Leaving morality for moment, here is a great advice for you,

If you ever feel like testing your activity-tracker/step-counter, ask a guy in a wheelchair to wear it for a day. If it is an accurate device, by the end of the day, it should show zero steps.

HahahahaSorryhahaha…