Hello my dear readers. It is me again. Just checking in on you. I hope you are all safe. I am very frustrated this week my dear readers. India is now in third place globally in the number of registered COVID-19 cases. I cannot believe that we let this happen. This is what happens if we forget our culture and ignore the lessons that hundreds of years heritage had taught us. It was all so simple but the authorities failed miserably. All they had to do is follow the basic two step approach. First, ensure social distancing. Second, isolate the people who are infected. I agree that they did indeed aim for this to happen. But they could not get the message across to the public. This type of information should be spoon-fed to our people. You have to tell them in a way that would make them clearly understand what is to be done.
I know it is a little late now but let me share my two ideas in this regard:
One, tell everyone to treat everyone else the way we have treated Dalits for all these centuries. This message would make it easy for every one to understand what social distancing is. One tweet from the PM on these lines and the entire country would go, “Ohh..so that is what social distancing means. Why did not you say this earlier?” There is a reason our tradition and culture had the concept of untouchability. But still, we failed to make use of it, the one time we really needed to. Centuries and centuries of practice wasted. Sigh.
But is is still okay my dear readers. Our tradition and culture is so farsighted that we have another option ready if the above idea fails, like it actually did. What to do when someone unfortunately tests positive for COVID-19? You have to isolate them. But how do we get this message across to the people? Simple. My second idea:
Tell everyone to treat infected persons the way we treated menstruating women. This is pretty much self-explanatory. No? You still need explanation? Okay, what I mean is, make them sit in an isolated room or some corner of the house and do not let them do or touch anything. We were basically home quarantining them before we even knew what that meant.
It is never too late my dear readers. Share this message with as many people as possible. Not for more site visits for my blog but for the sake of our country. I beg you.
You might feel that my message about Dalits is a bit insensitive. But do not worry readers. I am allowed to make such statements. It is like black rappers using the ’N’ word – NI**ER in their songs or Germans using the ’N’ word – N*ZI in their literature or Balakrishna using the ’N’ word – NANDA**RI in his speeches, dialogues, songs and everything else.
Anyway, we all need some inspiration during these testing times my dear readers. That is why I started reading about Malala Yousafzai. Remember her? Yes, that little girl. SWAT valley, Pakistan, Taliban, girls education etc. She is now 23 years old my dear readers. Can you believe that? She excelled in academics, graduating from some prestigious UK University. Obviously!!
While that is indeed commendable, I have to admit that I have a feeling that she did get some indirect help from her history. I am not saying she was given free marks by her lecturers but still dear readers, you imagine being Malala’s lecturer in college. Wouldn’t you give her few extra marks in her internal exams and vivas. She is a terror attack survivor, author of an international bestseller, world renowned activist for girls education etc. and you are the one judging her work and grading her papers? Would you ever fail her? I don’t think so.
If you think that Malala’s lecturers have a tough life, imagine being Malala’s boyfriend. I mean, like I said, she is 23 years old now. Try to imagine being her boyfriend. How can anyone not be intimidated by her. You know what is worse? What if you get into a fight with her? Couples do fight sometimes right? Even Naga Chaitanya and Samantha fight sometimes, probably over Siddharth. My point is, couples fight! What if Malala and her boyfriend fight and break-up? How can he ever live in this society?
He: We used to fight sometimes.
Society: You mean you fought with her?
He: No, I mean we both fought with each other.
Society: You mean you FOUGHT with her??
He: No, we both foug….
Society: SHE HAS A NOBLE PEACE PRIZE YOU ASSHOLE!!!
He: …..
Is there any way that guy can ever find another girl? He cannot simply put the blame of the break-up on his ex-girl friend – in this case, Malala Yousafzai. I mean what can he even say on a date with a new girl?
New Girl: Tell me about your ex-girlfriend
He: She’s…. sometimes we fought
New Girl: That’s common. It’s natural for couples to figh…
He: Her name is Malala Yousufzai
She: **throws coffee on face and then throws the coffee cup also**
I think I should now stop reading about Malala and thinking about her hypothetical boyfriend’s problems and worry more about my own issues.
That is all for now my dear readers. I have a couple of App ideas that can make you millionaires. I will share them next time. Tata.
The Cannibal 