Hello my dear readers. It is me again. Just checking in on you. With all that had happened and still happening in the country, I hope you are all staying safe and taking care of yourself. So much had happened since the last Mann ki Blog. I don’t know where to start and what to say. Personally, the last few months have been rather hectic for me to say the least. I lost some weight, gained some again, got COVID, recovered from it, and yes I also got married to the loveliest person in the world. The marriage story deserves a blog post of its own so let me save it for another time.
In the meantime however, I am inclined to share my thoughts on something that I feel is slowly but steadily steering this country, and possibly humanity, into a path of self destruction and possibly eternal damnation. No, I am definitely not exaggerating. I am confident that we all are capable of dealing with silly issues like crony-capitalism, pseudo-secularism, hyper-nationalism and the rather confusing – Pawanism. But the thing that requires our immediate attention is – ‘Mental Health’. Now before you start praising me (like people often do if anyone talks about Mental Health), I suggest that you read the next few paragraphs. I do admit that I have a tendency to make over-the-top claims that matters that just bother me, also have an effect on the entire world, or even the universe. So let me try and stay on track and not indulge in digressions.
I am of the considered view my dear readers that celebrities/influencers should stop talking about mental health. All of them. I don’t know what they intend to achieve but I feel they did and are still doing so much harm to the society by talking about mental health. I have seen the effects of anxiety and depression first hand and I know that they require professional intervention. I am not saying that I am an expert on the subject. I am just saying – neither are the celebrities/ influencers.
I cannot make such declarations and not explain myself. So here you go – celebrities/influencers talking about depression & anxiety brought the discussion into the mainstream and has basically confused people who are bummed or nervous into thinking that they suffer from clinical depression or anxiety disorder. People are simply forgetting that consequences to stupid decisions result in failure or embarrassment which will cause any human being to feel bad. It is not depression. It is called being sad. When you fail at something, if something horrible happens to you or if something that you wish had happened did not happen, you feel sad. When something important is coming up, you feel nervous and anxious. These are not to be confused with clinical depression and anxiety disorders. By “being brave” and “openly talking” about these things, celebrities have made people, especially youngsters like me believe that we are not just sad and nervous but are depressed and anxious. This is allowing people like me abandon any kind of responsibility for our actions and a believe that we are victims of circumstance.
What I am saying my dear readers is basically that every bad feeling or a negative emotion is not a mental disorder. Just because a celebrity says he/she has it, doesn’t mean you also should. The same applies to the ownership of a commodity (jewellery, beauty products), lifestyle (vacations, weddings) or a mental disorder (depression, anxiety). If you really think about it, it has almost become a necessity for celebrities to have and talk about mental health to become a celebrity. Shah Rukh Khan talking about going into “depression mode” after a shoulder injury is brave it seems.
Feeling sad after a bad film bombs at the box office is called being bummed – it is not depression. I mean, I felt really bummed after my arm got fractured back when I was in 8th class. I know for a fact that it was not depression. I felt nervous before my JEE result. That was definitely not anxiety disorder. If everyone keeps brooding over like they are the hero in a DC movie, what would happen to this world?!
One can argue that the celebrities/influencers just want to shed light on the stigmas or taboos or whatever attached to mental health. Fair enough. But why don’t they also talk about sexually transmitted diseases or drug abuse. Why don’t they talk about yeast infections, urinary tract infections or prostate cancers. Because those things are not cool enough. Don’t be fooled my dear readers. We don’t need therapy for everything. We should deal with things. If we are feeling sad, okay let’s be sad. We should take responsibility for our actions and realise that our actions have consequences. Sometimes the universe may also screw with you for no reason. The system is rigged and one cannot expect life to be fair. As far as the issue of mental health is concerned, we should all come together and try to increase the stigma around it.
Why are we not in a position to talk to our family or friends about things bothering us? Is it not because of decline in the quality of interpersonal relations in recent times? This is in turn is having a direct impact on the rise in issues of mental health (especially the celebrity induced variant). Let us stop believing by default, without any professional diagnosis, that we have mental issues. Let us leave the professionals to help those who are actually in need. Meanwhile, let us not fight over trivial things with strangers, let us not compare our lives with others and let us try to inculcate good friendships. Like our beloved Prime Minister and Father of the Nation – Modi-ji said:
“Peace, unity and harmony are useful in family, life, society and for the nation. And to all those who believe in Vasudhaive Kutumbakam, the whole world is one.”
When Modi-ji says something, you better believe it Mitron.
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Let me clarify my dear readers that I am currently in the process of working on myself. I am learning that it is a long and arduous process. I am up for the battle. It does get a bit complicated because people (especially my wife) have told me that I have anger issues. I know that I get angry sometimes. Does that really mean I have anger issues? Don’t people get angry sometimes? Isn’t anger a valid emotion? Balakot happened only because Modi-ji got angry after Pulwama. Why can’t we accept that some things are just the way they are. We don’t have to go on doing research on every phenomenon. Tell me this – why aren’t there any female Swiggy delivery persons? Why aren’t there any Muslim heroes in Tollywood? There will probably be valid scientific and sociological explanations to these questions. But my point is that there is no need to go poking for answers and solutions for everything. Some things are just the way they are. Accept this and let us not try to hijack all narratives and place ourselves at the centre of everything.
It does not mean that I am an angry asshole all the time. I don’t want to toot my own horn but I am very empathetic my dear readers. Let me illustrate – few years ago when I was working for a bank, one of my co-workers in the credit-risk department was a nice older lady who wasn’t liked very much by the others. She had always been nice and kind to me and I had immense respect for her. One day she brought a big imported chocolate for me. After eagerly taking a bite I read the label and realised that it was past the expiry date. She was very happy that I seemed to enjoy the chocolate so I ate it in front of her just so she would not feel bad. I even told her that the chocolate was delicious. Would someone without empathy do such a thing my dear readers? I don’t think so. I mean, that is basically like risking my life for someone else. To this day, eating that chocolate is one of the bravest things I have done in my life.
That is all for this edition of Mann ki Blog my dear readers. I do have some more things to say but that it mostly about my life and updates so you can stop here and come back next time. Please do share your thoughts and feedback with me and help me become better. Share this post with your friends and family if you feel they might find it interesting. As much as possible, try to avoid eating expired chocolate.
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Since I have named this Mann ki Blog, I thought I should carve out a small section for myself, what I am up to and how life is in general. I wouldn’t mind at all you didn’t read this. To be honest, I would be surprised if you had come this far.
Like I was saying earlier, the last few months have been very very hectic both on a personal level and professional. I got married in January and my brother in April. That means my mom’s happy, which is a good thing. Work wise, things were mostly busy as usual but I did get the much awaited transfer order to a place I am looking forward to go. While my movement might get delayed due to the pandemic and all, there is nothing to complain at all. I do keep reminding myself that in times like these, I’m lucky to have a safe and secure job. Let’s try and keep it that way.
There were several deaths in close circles during this second wave. So many heartbreaking and tragic stories. A friend lost her husband who is barely 34. My mother’s best friend Sudha aunty passed away. I knew her ever since I was a child. I’m sure there are countless stories like this. I don’t know what to say or what to even think about all this. At the expense of sounding cliche, there were several moments, especially in the last one month when I felt grateful for simply being alive. I got to spend a month at my hometown eating my mom’s food. I cannot not be grateful for that.
I have been trying for quite sometime now to work on certain things of my life, like my anger as I was talking earlier. I’m trying get over my coke addiction (coke that you drink, not snort). I do waste time on Twitter and Indian Express telling myself that it’s a guilty pleasure while filling my mind with garbage. I’ve already stopped doing that. There are several others which I cannot share here, at least not yet. I am trying to spend more time doing things that I actually enjoy and give me joy. Any suggestions in this regard are very much welcome. I’ve listened to Stephen Fry’s Troy on Audible which is nothing short of spectacular. I will try and keep writing things like this more regularly. So that is that I guess. Thanks and see you next time.
The Cannibal 