Surprise! Nǐ hǎo my dear readers. How are you? I know there is still some time left for me to publish the next edition of Mann ki Blog. But I just wanted to drop by and share somethings with you all. You see my dear readers, today is day 11 of my institutional quarantine, in a place far from home. While I am staying in a swanky hotel with all kinds of comforts, the fact that I am left with myself is driving me crazy. So I thought I will do this Mini version for the sake of my sanity.
Please note that the 12th edition of Mann ki Blog (featuring Azadi Ka Amrit Mahotsav, Princely States, Vijay Mallya etc.) will be published as per the usual schedule – a day before the last Sunday of the month. Now let’s begin.
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First thing first. Those Talibans are really something else am I right my dear readers? I mean, they definitely did not waste any time for sure. People from across the globe are now asking many questions. Where will this lead to? What does this mean to peace in the middle east? Who gets to eat the Afghan Jilebi? Is there an actual Afghan Jilebi? Okay no one asked that last two. But the thing is, I have noticed that by and large, most people are not so psyched that the Taliban is now in-charge of Afghanistan. You know what this reminds me of my dear readers? The time when they announced that Ben Affleck was going to be the next Batman. It was mayhem with people actually taking time to start petitioning against the decision. Then what happened? Batfleck blew everyone away with his make over and performance. Sometimes we have to give people chances, and not be clouded in our prejudices and narrow mindedness.
Still not convinced? Okay look at it this way. Even after all those years of ‘developed’ countries doing what ever they did, Afghanistan is currently ranked 169 out of 189 countries as per the UN Human Development Index. It’s like how the Suicide Squad (2016) was made with actors like Will Smith, Margot Robbie and Jared Leto but still ended up with a mere 26% on RottenTomatoes. We all thought that sometimes things just won’t work out. But then, out of nowhere, James Gunn comes along and says he is going to make a new Suicide Squad movie. I mean, honestly, after the first debacle, no one asked for another Suicide Squad movie. But still when it was announced, no one was worried that James Gunn was going to ruin a classic. We were just like – “Oh! Okay let’s see what he does.” I am simply saying that we should have the same attitude towards Taliban taking over Afghanistan. James Gunn is Taliban my dear readers.
Please don’t get me wrong. I have no idea what the Taliban are going to do. Frankly, all I know about the Taliban is that they dress exactly how a racist people would imagine muslims to look like. All I am saying is that – sometimes in life, it is all about having a positive outlook. Like I often say, for a person with a positive outlook on life, Annabelle is basically another Toy Story.
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Since we are already on the topic of perceptions and movies, have you seen the news about Farhan Akhtar directing a new movie my dear readers? It’s called ‘Jee Le Zaraa’ starring Bollywood A-listers and overall good looking people – Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif and Alia Bhatt. Farhan said that it is going to be a “road film, a slice-of-life film, with three women on the road.” I hope this movie bombs at the box-office. Or worse, it doesn’t get a theatrical release at all and releases on some obscure App like MX Player or AltBalaji.
You see, I don’t hate Farhan and his movies. In fact, I got first prize in a school dance competition for dancing to ‘Koi Kahe’ from Dil Chahta Hai. The movie that turned me against Farhan is that awful ‘Zindagi na Milegi Dobara.’ Directed by his sister Zoya (who I still believe is Farhan wearing a bad wig), the movie is about a bunch of healthy, fit, young, super rich good looking people travelling across Europe. There was no way I was going to identify with whatever the fuck problems they might be having. There are rich people problems and then there are Zindagi na Milegi Dobara problems. What nonsense. I feel like puking only my dear readers.
Hrithik Roshan’s character, looking like Hrithik Roshan, gets to roll around in tomato goo with Katrina Kaif who later chases the guy on a bike and kisses him. I believe the two indulge in banging as well. There was no way I look at that story and make any sort of connection to what was happening. I did not even go near Zoya Akhtar’s ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ after noting that it featured another ensemble cast of rich, beautiful people but this time on a cruise ship. No thank you.
I am not watching ‘Jee Le Zaraa’ my dear readers. Unless of course it is some kind of a tribute movie to COVID-19 warriors wherein the actresses supply oxygen containers to local hospitals and in the last shot of the movie, Alia Bhatt gives a cylinder to a dying patient, turns to the camera and says, ‘jee le zaraa’ and winks. Cut. The End. Roll credits.
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That is all for this Mini edition my dear readers. You all stay safe and take care of yourselves. Don’t outrage for everything. I will see you again soon with the 12th Edition of Mann ki Blog. Stay tuned. Meanwhile, even if you don’t want to root for the Taliban, at least watch James Gunn’s ‘The Suicide Squad’. It has 91% on RottenTomatoes.
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The Cannibal 
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