Nǐ hǎo my dear readers. How are you? What’s going on? I don’t know why I keep asking as if you are going to respond. But still, I hope you are all doing well. After the horrible ranting in the last edition (MkB #12), I have decided to keep this one simple and pleasant. As some of you know by now, I recently moved to Taipei and the transition from Delhi has been smooth and easy so far. But before I start sharing some of my experiences here, did you know that on this day in 1996, the Taliban reached the suburbs of Kabul during an ongoing civil war, and in two days time, took over Kabul and established the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan. 1996 my dear readers. Not 2021. Oh yes, and on this day in 1968, Will Smith was born. Now let’s get going.
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As I was saying, I moved to Taipei last month my dear readers. After living in Delhi for more than three years, it was only after moving here that I realised that I have not done the one thing in Delhi that I very much looked forward to before moving there from Hyderabad in 2018. You see, back in September 2014, a White Tiger in the Delhi Zoo mauled a 22 year old man to death. The news made headlines across the globe. However, with so much happening in the country after 2014 (wink-wink), people slowly forgot about that incident. Not me of course. I am damaged.
The Tiger’s name is Vijay. After mating with Kalpana (a female tiger, obviously), Vijay fathered five tiger cubs sometime in 2015. However, within few months, one of the cubs choked to death after a piece of meat got stuck in its throat. Of the remaining four cubs, three are female (Neeta, Meeta and Reeta) and one is male (Tipu). As you can see, back then I knew way too much information about what was going on in Vijay’s life. This was the time when I was still single. I mean, I knew that Vijay’s birthday is on 20 July and in 2017, he celebrated his tenth birthday. No wonder I was single. But still, my point is that I was really looking forward to go see Vijay in person after moving to Delhi in March of 2018. Unfortunately, life got hectic and due to one reason or the other, I could not find time to visit Delhi Zoo. If you are in Delhi, please try and make time to visit the Zoo and say hello to Vijay for me.
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Dear readers, the non-vegetarian food I eat is mostly eggs and chicken. Fish and Prawns also occasionally. Nothing else. One thing I came prepared to do in Taipei is to try the local cuisine, several of which are dishes containing beef and pork. But so far I am unable to overcome that mental block. I did have what is called an “Oyster Omelette” and experienced, let’s just say – mixed emotions. I am however, determined to take that leap sooner rather than later.
I have to confess something though. A couple of weeks ago, I ordered something called “Japanese Omelette Rice” off the Menu. Going by its name, I assumed that it contained rice and eggs (probably duck or quail eggs, but I am beyond just chicken eggs now). But as I started eating the Japanese Omelette Rice, I realised that I was chewing on some pieces of meat. Considering that 7-8 out of 10 food items here contain either beef or pork, I was 70-80% sure that I was eating either beef or pork. But there was no turning back at that point. So, I guess I already had taken the leap without actually realising that I did.
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My dear readers, if there is one living creature that I miss the most from Delhi now, it is my landlord’s puppy – Tikki. This is what he looks like and I miss him dearly.
This is as much true emotion as I am capable of displaying so I am going to stop at that. I have to say this my dear readers – dogs, especially puppies in Taipei seem malnourished to me. If not malnourished, they are over groomed. I am very underwhelmed. There was only one little brat that we met near the Ganesh temple (yes, Ganesh temple in Taipei) that looked adorable. See for yourself.
While puppies are not all that cute here, the babies are another level my dear readers. In fact let me go on record and say that Taiwanese babies are, for my money, the cutest babies in the world. Indian babies look like pieces of shit compared to Taiwanese babies. This is not an exaggeration my dear readers. Believe me, because I myself was a cute Indian baby long time ago. But oh boy, my baby self will be a total uggo if you compare with any random Taiwanese baby. No other global babies can even be compared to Taiwanese babies in cuteness levels. Their cuteness also comes from the fact that they’re well mannered. Unlike those irresponsible Sri Lankan babies. I wish Taiwanese babies all the very best for a bright future. The rest of the babies from the rest of the world can honestly go to hell. I don’t care.
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You might be wondering why I am talking so much about babies and puppies my dear readers. Let me be honest. I stopped following Indian news websites from the time I landed in Taipei. I have no idea what is going on there. Politics, Sports, Cinema – Nothing. I saw few scenes from a horrible movie called Bell Bottom. But that was only because I saw Akshay Kumar when they were shooting some scenes outside our office in South Block. Other than that, I have no idea what is going on in India and I am absolutely loving it. It has been a learning curve, understanding how I was consuming other people’s outrage as my news. The things that gives me fomo are the news updates about Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s beard. I want to know more but I don’t want get sucked into those news cycles again. Please let me know by email or in the comment section below if he suddenly decides to shave his beard. In case he already shaved it, please share a photo. Thanks.
Having said that, I am earnestly following some news stories here in Taipei my dear readers. Last month when I was in quarantine, Taipei Zoo held a public voting event to name a new born Tapir. This Tapir to be more accurate:
Until I actually found it, I had no idea that this was the kind of news that I needed in my life. Needless to say, I took part in the poll. My submission was – “GAO”. You see my dear readers, before I read this news, I had no idea that “Tapir” is a large herbivorous mammal. The only Tapir I knew was Hon’ble Member of Parliament and BJP’s Arunachal Pradesh Unit President, Shri Tapir Gao. So when I saw the poll, I thought that it would be perfect to name the baby Tapir as “Gao” so that when someone asks the zoo keeper, which Tapir is the cutest, he/she can say, “Tapir Gao.” You see what I am saying?
Unfortunately, my submission got rejected, as it was likely that no one else on the planet suggested that name. Missed opportunity if you ask me. If my name was Tapir Gao, I would have loved to see a Tapir being named Tapir Gao. Sigh! But there are plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of tapirs in zoos. Fingers crossed.
What I am saying my dear readers is that when I have news like this, why the hell would I want to go back and read those awful websites giving nonsense news about Raj Kundra or someone else. They make me sustain the same level of outrage for COVID-19 deaths and countries being taken over by terrorists on one hand and some stupid celebrity tweets on the other. Same level of public outrage. I want to stop doing that and being that person, instead focus such masterpieces:
You see what I am saying my dear readers. I am not even kidding. This is me now. I have had it. Outraging over everything. These are the kind of news stories I am devoting my time and energy to. Still not convinced that these are compelling stories? Look at this:
The police conducted a joint search and rescue effort to find a ‘missing’ tourist in collaboration with the Coast Guard, the fire department, the Wei Jing Rescue Association, the airborne service, and local fishing boats. Meanwhile the guy was sleeping at a local guest house. Priceless.
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I guess that will be all for this edition of Mann ki Blog my dear readers. There is no True or False Quiz this time. Here are the solutions for the last month’s quiz:
Statement – 1: After the men’s hockey team won gold at the 1980 summer olympics, India had to wait 16 years with out a medal, until Leander Paes won bronze at the 1996 summer Olympics.
Solution: True.
Statement – 2: Nusli Wadia, one of the main funders of the erstwhile Jana Sangh and later the BJP is the grandson of Pakistan’s first Prime Minister Liaquat Ali Khan.
Solution. False. Nusli Wadia is the grandson of Muhammad Ali Jinnah.
Statement – 3: In October 2018, with the approval of the Hon’ble Prime Minister, Arnab Goswami was made a member of the Nehru Memorial Museum & Library Society.
Solution: True.
Statement – 4: During June 2019 to August 2021, Hon’ble Member of Parliament (Lok Sabha) Swami Sachchidanand Hari Sakshi Ji Maharaj, popularly known as Sakshi Maharaj has 96% attendance in the parliament, while Rahul Gandhi has 53% attendance.
Solution: True.
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Oh yeah, before we finish, the baby Tapir was named “Mo Huadou” and she is now learning to eat solid foods in addition to getting milk from her mother, Molly. Zoo authorities informed that the mother and daughter have been very vocal and communicative with each other. I will go to Taipei Zoo soon to see Miss Huadou in person. Meanwhile you do better things with your life and take care of yourselves my dear readers. I will see you next month with another edition of Mann ki Blog.
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The Cannibal 