This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and incidents portrayed in this story are products of the author’s imagination. Well, the storyline is slightly derived from real life. Not the author’s life, but from life in general. What story isn’t a little derivative right? The names and characters are definitely fictitious. But then again, can names really be called fictitious? What the author is trying to convey is that certain existing names have been used in the story, but they have been assigned to characters that are based on people with different names. With that clarification, the author has inadvertently admitted that some characters in the story are actually based on real people. Damn.
Since that bridge has been crossed, the author intends to confess that he assigned a despicable character in the story, the real name of the person that character is originally based on. The author enjoys the fact this is one of the perks of being an author in the first place. But as long as Kuldeep does not read the story, it should be alright. Now that the author is being unnecessarily honest, the cryptic line in the story referring to an upcoming actress who “invaded Tollywood like Israel invaded Gaza; and had taken over the industry like Elon Musk took over Twitter” is based on Sreeleela, obviously. Other than that, everything else portrayed in this story is fictitious. Really. Some characters in the story smoke cigarettes and live in Delhi. It is pertinent to mention here that smoking and living in Delhi are both injurious to health. There are reports.
The incidents showcased in the story are definitely totally fictitious. Well, not completely. The author has made references to war, subscription based deep fake adult websites and global warming. But all the events in the story have been based on fictitious portrayals of the real events, and not the real events themselves. So by transitive, reflexive and symmetric properties, they can be deemed semi-fictitious. Talk to a lawyer. There is a mention of a show “Tann ki Baat” on the aforementioned website which, while sounding similar, is not in any way based on the arguably more popular monthly radio show. It is therefore established irrefutably that the names, characters and incidents in this story are fictitious. Almost.
It may further be noted that no identification with actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred. Other than Kuldeep and Sreeleela that is. Talking about the deceased, the author is cognizant of the fact that the protagonist’s father character in the story may be inferred by some to be based on the author’s real father. But that is certainly not the case. The author has created the protagonist, and the father characters purely from his imagination and may only be seen as such.
The father’s character in the story has unreasonably high expectations on the protagonist’s success right from his childhood. He however dies after the protagonist faces a huge setback in life, leaving a huge void in the protagonist’s life. A void which cannot be fulfilled because no matter how successful he eventually becomes, there is no way for him to really know for sure whether his father is proud of him. A sense of “if my father sees me now, he would probably be disappointed because he would have expected a lot more from me” keeps haunting the protagonist in everything he does. When he is not constantly fighting away the feeling of “what is the point of all this,” the protagonist can only aim for glimpses of contentment in his day to day life. Happiness is a distant dream.
At this point in the disclaimer, the author has recognized that the lines between what is fiction and what is nonfiction are often blurred. He admits with sincerity that while some names, characters, places and incidents in the story are fictional, some are based on reality. You know what? All those things mentioned above about the protagonist’s father, and not knowing whether or not he would be proud of him or not – the protagonist should not care so much about all that. He is almost 35 years old and has his lovely wife and pet to take care of, be happy and build a life with. Why should the imaginary disappointment of a person who died more than a decade ago dictate the mood of the protagonist every morning when he sits down with his cup of coffee? He needs to find a way out of this cycle.
The unexpected contemplation that had just happened in this disclaimer is making the author feel a little overwhelmed. He is not sure if he can go ahead and write the story after all. He is thinking “what is the point of all this.” He knows that the story is amazing, especially the part where Sreeleela fights and destroys the utterly despicable Kuldeep for running the deep fake website featuring “Thann ki Baat” and the more explicit “Sthann ki Baat” programs. She then goes on to solve global warming once and for all. But the author feels that the story can wait and that he should take some time to process the sudden outburst of thoughts and emotions, especially those of the fictional father. All copyrights reserved.
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The Cannibal 