Category: General

This post is mainly intended for boys in relationships. Girls can read too but not if you think you have a perfect relationship and that whatever I say is a big fat lie. If you people honestly feel that everything’s perfect in your relationship and you need not read this, congrats and you may close the window right now and go back to doing whatever you people do.

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Hahaha… I thought so. Sit back, relax and let’s begin by talking about one of the common problem that plagues most healthy relationships.

Everything in the affair appears to be fine until the girl starts relating herself (by herself, I mean who she is in the relationship. Trust me, there’s a lot of difference) with characters from movies/stories. It’s the worst when she compares herself to real people but that discussion is for another time. For now let’s discuss about how movies effect an otherwise perfect (if not, Real) relationships. I know that most boys already understood what I’m talking about.

Why does a girl behave like that? I wonder if there is a high funda research going on to find the answer to this question but clearly there haven’t been a solution to the problem. When I say problem I speak on behalf of all the boys who are annoyed like shit because of all the drama. The best that we can do is to clearly explain what’s in our mind. Don’t worry guys, in case you don’t know how to put your thoughts in words, that’s what I’m here for. Make her read this; problem solved. And girls who are fooling themselves by thinking that what I say is crap, I dare you to make your guy read this and stay peaceful about it. 😛

Case Study:

Let us take a sample and elaborate rather than making directionless remarks. Take ManiRatnam’s “Geethanjali” for example. I agree that the movie is a classic and the story is really good. The album is one of the best ever in South-India and remains the same even today. But the point to be noted here is that it is a “story”. If she ever talks about how unbelievably romantic it is and how true love is eternal and crap like that, stand back, take a deep breath and try to tell her:

“The entire idea of relating to a ‘movie’ is fucked up. It is just a story that never happened and never will. The people in the movie never existed in real life and they act the way they do only when the director says action. They do not have a 24hr day cycle. The world there is seen through the artistic eyes of PC Sreeram (The DoP) and the movie is what it is because of Ilayaraaja’s music which is quite evidently absent in real life. The entire package is made just so a few  girls who are not satisfied with what they have in real life can play a few songs on their iPod and later screw with the guy’s mind who eventually tries to keep the girl happy by playing along and “Acting”. Is that what they really want?? I don’t know.”

So guys this is what you do

>> If she talks about how “Om Namaha” song was aesthetically shot and is a true symbol of passionate love, show her the clips of Nagarjuna kissing Tabu, Sushmitha Sen, Raveena Tandon, Pooja Bhatt, Anushka etc (I’m not sure if I got them all) with the same pervert lips and that there’s nothing really aesthetic and true about that kiss. It’s all acting and that is everything there is. Indeed the song is beautiful and it still is, as long as it is seen as a song…. nothing more, nothing less.

>> If she smiles at you with a hidden agenda after listening to “Oh priya priya” (Don’t act as if you don’t know what I’m talking about) show her the “Gichi gichi champamaku” from “Super”. Why am I talking like this?? Here’s why… Take the two characters in the movie. The guy is super rich and so, soon after he realizes that he is going to die, he decides to go live at a beautiful hill station where he has his own home and a maid to take care of him. He doesn’t really go sick throughout the film and he doesn’t do things like puking/pooping blood etc that normal people with diseases do. How are we supposed to relate to that?

>> And how can I miss the legendary “Oh papa lali” (Yeah, I understand your problem Bro and you’re welcome). The girl in the story is dying and so is the guy. But purely for the sake of portraying romance they both are good looking and are allowed to sit on a bench the entire day when SPB sings on the background. A normal couple would never be able to do that and more importantly they need not. The girl in real life in not dying and is not a child (papa) who needs to be pampered. She is a grown women; well at least grown enough to maintain a boyfriend without her parent’s knowledge or approval. She should act according to her age and not pretend as if she is a child. You got that??

>> Let me generalize now. The characters in the movie act the way they do because they don’t have family and friends that they need to accommodate in their life and in the daily activities they do. Their characters won’t really influence the way the lead characters behave. The guys in real life need to be with their friends, watch porn, love their family, plan their careers and have a million other engagements. That doesn’t mean he don’t like being with you. It means that even with all these activities, he still manages to make time for you. Feel happy for that. Nagarjuna in that movie is just a spoiled brat who is diagnosed with a chronic ailment because of his fucked up habits. The guy is an asshole who smokes while taking his college degree. Even after he is suffering from the disease, he shows no signs of the disease affecting him. Pretty convenient eh?? That’s because it is a FUCKING MOVIE AND NOT REAL LIFE. Respect your MAN for what he is!!!!!

Ok, I might’ve gone overboard there but understand what I’m trying to say. Geethanjali is just an example that I took to reach out to a larger audience. I know that there are several others that screw up the otherwise healthy and real relationships. Keep in mind that they are just acts of fiction that are to be watched and enjoyed. That’s all!!  Now think for once where you stand in your relationship.

Out of all the millions of people out there, you somehow managed to end up with one special person that you are with right now. Isn’t that a lot special than a couple of people on the screen that several others also relate to?? and most importantly that are not REAL??

Even with all these real life constraints and limitations, you managed to stay together and share an intimate bond, isn’t that an unbelievable romantic feat itself??

You people don’t need characters that never existed to tell you or influence the way you love each other. What you have is much more special. So celebrate it in your own way because it is UNIQUE, because it is your OWN and because it is REAL.

Cheers.

PS: If both of you relate to movies and are absolutely fine with that, then I guess writing this is a waste of my time. Damn!!!!!

It was a rainy winter morning; I went for a walk to the ECC (with one of those green umbrellas) to attend a Yoga session (Yeah, I do all that stuff) and there I found a bottle floating in the swimming pool with a letter inside it. I took it out and saw the recruitment mailer for Gurukul. That was how I came to know about it. Ok, that was stupid and lame. I’ll tell the real story now. The fact is, I never really chose to be in Gurukul. Like those dragon things in “Avatar”, Gurukul chose me. That is cheesy I understand and I’ll stop boring you. Let’s get into business.

Like every other trainee inside the campus, I got the recruitment mail(er) and I didn’t shift+delete it like at least 99.9% of you usually do. I am not sure why I felt like applying for it in the first place; perhaps I was looking for something that I would enjoy doing (unlike Programming :P). Whatever may be the reason, I did apply and the rest was history. We ended up making one of the best Gurukul editions till date and I had something to boast about in front of the pretty Mallu girls in my class. (No offence)

(Thank you Rishav, D-cube, Megha and Kamalesh for that awesome induction session in CCD)

I was named “Joker of the Pack” by Dipannita for some reason but that was totally a blunder as most of the time I am serious as hell. I am like one of those Neo-Nazi kinds in “American History-X” and I even remember beating up a 6 feet guy once who then became two 3 feet midgets…True Story. I even wrote several (Fake) News articles back when I was in GEC-1 to bring out several conspiracies and scandals.

After writing a couple of articles for the Dreams edition (Remember reading the Pinakini Express??), I was totally pumped up for the next edition and had decided to write a minimum of 10 articles. Regarding the making of the edition, I should first talk about the team meetings we had (mostly through the spam mails that kept filling everybody’s inboxes) in trying to come up with the theme. It took us longer than the days we worked after we decided upon the theme finally. “Halloween” was unanimously Okayed soon after Shibani cleverly blended “Spooky” and “Magic” together. As for me, I was so dedicated that I finished writing most of my articles even before the theme was selected. Okay, that wasn’t dedication. It was because I had no idea what the educators were teaching and had no interest to learn either so I was busy writing during the classes.

As the best things always take their time, there was a delay during the making of the edition (It had nothing to do with me, I swear). But like Rajini sir said, “Late ga ochina latest ga ravali” (No translation required). The overwhelming response that we got for the edition was fantabulosly (I just made that up) amazing. Thank you Ram for proof reading my articles. Considering how bad my English is, that would’ve been a pain in the ass. As Gurukul was the only job I took up seriously while I was there in Mysore, the response my articles got gave me wings (either that or the Red Bull that I used to drink).

Speaking from the heart, Gurukul for me is all about the experience. It was my first shot at writing for a news letter or in that case writing for anything other than my blog. So, at a personal level I took it up as a challenge. Even though I usually preferred working alone, the entire experience of making new friends and working as a team was new and exciting. I thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent in Saturn, even if most of the time all we spoke was about how gay Harry Potter was and about that guy who was stalking Lavanya ;).  Right from the early meetings for making the contributions mail(er) to the day of that awesome photoshoot, it was no doubt an unforgettable experience for me personally.

Regarding the New edition, I was told that the new team is very talented (that we were), punctual and dedicated (Err… I guess we were :P). So, I’m pretty sure they’ve done a great job. Congrats people and All the Best for the next editions as well. Okay then this is Sudhams signing off for the last time for Gurukul. I wish you all a Happy New Year. May you never run out of fun and laughter… Cheers.

P.s… The irony is that after all the efforts that went into making the Halloween edition; I left Infosys on the day before the launch of the Edition. I never saw the edition myself.

NewsToday: The much awaited inaugural ceremony of the “Drinking zones” inside the campus turned ugly last night when a bunch of unidentified trainees attacked the security personnel outside the newly opened drinking zone near the ECC area. Earlier this week, the authorities approved the demand of the trainees to have drinking zones in various parts of the campus for the booze lovers (as they already have a smoking zone for the smokers). But this incident might turn against the booze lovers as the management took this incident very seriously.

When asked about the incident, Sudheer Majji, a drunken trainee said “Reyyyyyyyyyy…. Ennaaaa daaaaaa….. Voyyyyyyyy……. Champesthaaaaa……..” which apparently we were unable to understand. However, from the reports of an inside source, there were around 14 of these unidentified trainees that attacked the security guards with empty bottles of Smirnoff Vodka. They were believed to be totally drunk. Later they escaped into the ECC building which was crowded like on any other day and were not found again. The search parties are still in duty and are looking to crack the case anytime this week.

“We were pretty sure nothing would go wrong when 10000 trainees inside the campus are allowed to drink officially,” explained Kanaka Prithvi, an active drinker. “But the incident last night was totally unexpected. I am pretty sure this is the act of the smoking zone people as they fear we might take over as the cool guys inside the campus.” Prithvi also expressed his fear that the drinking zones might be closed following this incident.

But the smokers objected to these statements. “We are like brothers. I mean smokers and drinkers are supposed to go hand in hand. We were infact looking forward to attending the inaugural ceremony and get drunk ourselves.” said Sunny Kiran, the honorary spokesperson of the smoking community. “Infact most of our team members drink like fish on weekends. We can never do such a thing that would harm our partners in democracy.”

It was rumored that a couple of trainees were arrested and are being investigated. “They took him in chains to the ILI building where I believe they’re torturing him… like they did to John Abraham in Newyork(the film).” claimed Maneesha01 who believes that her friend Sudhams was arrested the same night for no particular reason. “He never misbehaved with anybody. I mean this was not the first time he was inside the campus drunk. He always acted sober and nobody ever had any trouble with him.” stated Maneesha01 supporting her missing friend.

But the authorities denied these allegations. “He was taken into custody for making lame jokes and stupid forward mails. This has nothing to do with the drinking zone incident.” said Tejaswi Aiyappa, the HR spokesperson. “But the incident has been taken very seriously and the culprits would be severely punished once we found them. We already investigated in the near-by pubs and bars.” said the spokesperson, who was hopeful of closing the case soon.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

MysoreToday: 21 year old Tulasi Soujanya went on a rampage yesterday beating up her roommate badly and eventually hospitalizing her. Souji, as she is called by her friends is a fresh trainee at Infosys, Mysore DC and stays in one of the hostels inside the hostel. On Monday, soon after she came back from the sessions, she found her roommate talking over the phone in the corner of the room and without warning she began beating her with all most every movable object inside the room. It took the nearly 16 security personnel to control her. She was arrested and the injured girl is in a coma, currently under medical supervision in Apollo hospital.

 

There were several speculations about the incident and people were talking about trainees unable to handle stress inside the campus. Several people believed that Souji found it difficult handle the pressure of all the training and that is what provoked her into doing what she did. Sudheer Kumar Majji, a trainee here told us “These things are quite common inside the campus. We always beat up others whenever we flunk in a test.” However, from inside sources, we have the facts regarding the intensions behind the violent actions of the 21 year old.

It was said that the roommate was obsessed with talking over the phone with a guy whom she knew from her college days. When Souji first asked her if it was her boyfriend, she made a face and warned Souji never to make such remarks and confirmed that he was just a good friend. It was not a big deal for Souji but when the girl often went out to meet the guy and often spent entire nights talking over phone; she couldn’t understand what the deal was. When she asked her roommate the same once again once again, the girl became furious and went on to say that she was from a decent family and would never do such a thing. Taken aback by her anger, Souji made it clear that it was just a casual question and was not to offend her in anyway.

However, last evening when she came back from the class, she found her talking to the guy and this made Souji burn with anger and she totally lost control and began beating her up badly. Even the neighbors reported saying that they heard Souji scream “Why they hell do you have to bring in family?? Don’t try and act innocent infront of me you #$%^.” just before she hit her on the face with the electric kettle. How ever these are yet to be proved. Currently Souji is under the supervision of a therapist but she says that there’s nothing wrong with her and that she did what she had to do.

The Souji incident remains to be the talk of the campus and the girls talking over the phones in their hostels are feeling chills down their spine. “Every time I call somebody and come out to the corridor to talk, I feel as if she’s behind me with a kettle. The fear’s killing me.” said Harsha Vandini, a resident of the same hostel. “I am not sure if I can ever talk freely again.” she said before going to the Vodafone store for some pre-paid mobile balance.

NewsToday: With the fear that there might be less audience for the NRN speech, the authorities have called in additional back up from local management institutions. The reason for choosing management institutions is that they are usually more professional than most of the Infocions here inside the campus. They were found roaming in the campus at various places taking photos of every tree and snail.

Narayana Murthy is believed to be very sensitive to such issues and he could get really hurt if people don’t show up when he deliver speeches. “It’s after a long time that he is going to address the people here. We don’t want to see him disappointed. The last time he came, only 19 people showed up near the amphitheatre and they also left soon after he began talking. He was very upset.” said one of the HR team members who were organizing the event.

It was told that last time when nobody showed up, NRN actually cried back stage and  even protested when he was offered dinner. He told “I don’t need anything. I don’t need anybody.” and went and sat in the corner of Arena food court crying. It took the entire HR team 2 hours to console him and he finally agreed to go home on a condition that he’d be taken to Gemini circus first. He also did similar things during his visits to various Universities across the globe.

“He was always like a child. I still remember, when I told him that I didn’t have money to give him for starting his own business, he cried rolling on the floor. There was no other way to stop him so I gave him my money to start Infosys” said Sudha Murthy about her husband whom she describes as an old man with a child’s heart. “Even today, he always carry lollypops and tinkle comics wherever he goes” told the proud wife of one of the countries prominent personalities.

For his talk in the campus on Saturday, it was estimated that there would not be more than a crowd of 25 people despite the fact that the weekend movies are dumb. So the additional back-up brought in might just come in handy for the organizers. They were strictly instructed to clap when ever he finishes a sentence and to laugh out loud if he makes a lousy joke. Rumor has it that they are being paid on the number of times they clap and a special team is appointed for whistling at regular intervals.

“Nothing should go wrong this time. We got it all planned out.” told a confident HR manager. As an answer to what Mr.Murthy might say to the trainees from IITs here, the HR manager laughed and said, “People from IIT?? Here in Mysore DC?? There will not be a problem with that.” The HR team requested everybody to keep this entire plan a secret as it would become very difficult for them to console Mr.Murthy once again as there is no Gemini circus in town this time around.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

NewsToday: The IT giant Infosys on Monday announced that there will no longer be any ambulance services in the Narayana Murthy Centre for Excellence, Mysore. The statement came soon after the discussions of the core committee with regard to the growing accidents inside the campus. It was earlier reported to the HR team that 9 out of the 10 accident inside the campus were caused by the ambulance alone.

“It has come to our notice that the ambulance has become a symbol of danger inside the campus. There have been several hit-and-run cases reported recently and the recent case where a trainee was hit near Oasis was really sad.” explained Tejaswi Aiyappa, a senior HR member and the spokesperson for the core committee. “So we decided to discontinue the ambulance service from this weekend.”

This has been received as welcome news by the trainee population. “Finally we can ride our cycles on the road without any worry. Even walking on the footpath was not safe after that Multiplex incident” said Sudheer Majji, a trainee referring to the incident last month near the Multiplex area where 18 trainees were injured in a hit-and-run case while walking on the footpath.

“The irony was that I was taken to the clinic in the same ambulance. Glad that these incidents will not repeat again. Discontinuing the ambulance service is the first step towards a safer campus.” said Harsha Vandini who was one of the victims in the Fiesta hit-and-run case. However there has been equal opposition to this from the prankster’s community who are complaining that they now have to walk back to their hostel rooms.

“Everyday I used to call the ambulance complaining of a leg injury or an ankle sprain and they would drop me near my hostel. Now I have to start begging for cycles near the Multiplex like all other trainees” protested Buvanesh who went on to say that there would be severe consequences if the decision is not re-considered. “We will start messing around with the house-keeping staff. We’ll make them clean our rooms again and again until we get a favorable result.” He said before going to his room in the ambulance for probably the last time.

However, the majority of the trainee popualtion is happy with the decision. They were seen celebrating on the roads and burning down posters of the ambulance. “We now hope that the security service is also cancelled because there have been several security breaches by the security people. They are the only people inside the campus who disobey the rules. Even the patrol car which carries people with huge guns is found breaking the laws.” explained Sunny Kiran, a trainee activist who played a key role in the ambulance case decision. “However, we welcome this decision from the HR team” he said before making posters to protest the security policies.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

NewsToday: Trainee protests turn violent in certain parts of the campus on Monday when the angry agitators threw empty Tropicana packs at the food court staff. Nearly 7 trainees were injured in the heavy stampede that followed. Earlier this week, the food courts sent out a mailer that showed the most exquisite dishes from various parts of the world and indicated that they wouldn’t be serving them in the near future. This is a rather amusing prank but most of the trainees did not find it very funny. The mailers also contained the high quality images of these dishes and this added fuel to the fire.

“What kind of a mean joke is it? It’s like playing with people’s emotions. They need to pay the price.” shouted Sudheer Kumar Majji at the top of his voice clearly showing that he was upset. “When I first saw that mail, I was so happy. I thought it was the best thing that happened to me after coming here. But when I saw the last line that read: All these items will not be available in the near future, I was furious” explained Sunny Kiran who said he would go on an indefinite fast till they serve each and every dish that was there in the mailer.

The entire trainee population came on to the roads protesting these mean acts on Monday. They divided into groups each group choosing its favorite (not any more) food court and began protesting. They displayed banners and posters of Tandoori Chicken and Hyderabadi Dum Biryani. There was a silent protest infront of Maitri where trainees bathed and slept infront of the food court building. “This is Gandhigiri, haven’t you seen Munnabhai??” asked Kanaka Prithvi, one of the peaceful protesters.

It was not long before the food court management came out to calm the crowd. But their efforts were in vain. The crowd kept demanding that they serve the food shown in the mailers with the exact color and texture. They even wanted the entire work force of the food courts to apologize to the trainees for insulting them. “We never insulted them. It was just a joke. It’s not our fault that these people don’t have a sense of humor.” said Sanjeev Kapoor, the manager of one of the food courts. “You have to agree. Isn’t that an awesome prank?” questioned Sanjeev. When asked about whether they accept the demands of the trainees, Sanjeev laughed hysterically and said “What are we, Master chefs of Australia??”

However, at sensitive places like Oasis, the protest took an ugly turn when one trainee threw his Tropicana pack at the food court manager shouting “Aakali ra Babuuu!!!”(This probably meant something about hunger). The fury of the agitators reached its peaks when the manager responded by throwing a chicken kebab piece at the same trainee. A huge stampede followed this causing lose of around 3 chairs and 8 glasses. It has been reported that one of the trainees took away two cup cakes from the loyal world but this has to be proved. “He was big, really big I tell you. There was no way I could stop him.” said a frightened employee of the store.

These incidents stand as living examples of how jokes can be misinterpreted. It might just be a joke for the food court management but it is much more than mere food for the thousands of employees here. “We trainees give top priority to food. Every thing else comes after that. Have you ever seen Arena and Magna at 12:45p.m? If you have, you will know what I mean.” explained Sindhu, the spokesperson for the team leading the protests. They have been called in by the authorities to settle issues by means of peaceful talks.  “We are looking forward for the talks and there is no way Sunny Kiran will stop fasting until all those dishes are served in the campus.” said Sindhu before leaving for dinner at Fiesta.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

22 year old Infosys Trainee Sudheer Kumar Majji created history on Thursday becoming the youngest person to finish writing the ‘Ramakoti’ (a practice followed by people in India where they write “Shri Rama”, 10million times as a way of showing their love and respect to the GOD) in a single day that too on the Notepad application in his Infosys provided computer. Sudheer achieved this grand feat in just over 4 hours becoming the youngest person ever to do this on a computer. He broke the record of Kanaka Prithvi who wrote it in 8hrs 14mins two months back.

“Everytime I open the Microsoft Internet Explorer browser on my PC, it takes a lot of time to load. Today I thought of doing something good in the time the Sparsh page loads and so I began writing the Ramakoti.” said the delighted Sudheer about what prompted him into writing it. “You wouldn’t believe it!!! I finished writing it before half the Sparsh page is loaded. I am pretty sure that after this, I would do well in the future tests.” he said.

This rare achievement brought him a wide fan base and most of the people who knew him told us how proud they were. “I always knew he had it in him to achieve great things in life. With wonderful support from the Tech facilities in Infosys, he made it through. It’s a proud moment for all of us” told Sunny Kiran, a close friend of Sudheer. Sunny says that after this inspiring achievement by Sudheer, he is taking up his dream of writing a book by using the time it took for the Harmony page in Sparsh to load.

The elderly people in the campus gave their blessings to Sudheer stating that this will bring prosperity not only to Sudheer but also the entire Organization as it wouldn’t have been possible without the support of the super slow Brower speed. “Sparsh page always takes time to load. We know that. But Sudheer was the first one to think of something useful to do within that time rather than reading forward mails in his outlook mailbox. It’s like that Newton was the first to ask why kind of situation.” said Sindhu, a senior member in the E&R department (She’s so senior that her black tag lost it’s color and became white) She advised all the younger breed of the trainees to do similar things whenever their attendance clients don’t open.

But this matter didn’t please the staff at the CCD. When we went to congratulate them for indirectly helping Sudheer in creating history, they responded rudely. “What?? It doesn’t take that long for the page to load. They’re just exaggerating it. This is just a way those E&R people make fun of us as they are jealous that we are the technically advanced people in the campus. I bet that dude just copy pasted the entire thing.” said Mr. Steve Gates from CCD. When asked about the slow speed of the browser while loading the Sparsh page he said, “Considering the number of employees we have in Infosys, I am sure sparsh has heavy traffic and is definitely one of the top-used websites in the world next only to Google and Facebook. It is inevitable that it slows down sometimes.” told Steve raising his eyebrows when said ‘number of employees’.

No matter what, the trainees are celebrating the achievement. Sudheer will soon receive a certificate from the Guinness book of world records and Ripley’s believe it or not. There is a chance that Sparsh can be placed at the top in the list of the slowest loading web pages in the world.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

Mysore News: The entire HR department of the Infosys Mysore DC had their hearts in their throat on Sunday when one of the trainees threatened to kill a couple of Groundskeepers here in the Narayana Murthy center for Excellence. Sudheer Kumar Majji, a fresh graduate who recently happened to join Infosys as a Systems Engineer Trainee was furious when he saw the workers cleaning the cricket playground that is right infront of the GEC2 building. He was taken into custody and is currently being questioned by the authorities.

“It has been three months now. I’ve seen them clean the ground each and every day till now. Even on weekends!!! But I never saw a single match being played. Why do they keep cleaning it??” Sudheer explained about what provoked him into doing such a thing. “I mean… what the hell?? Why is there a huge ground anyway?? Is it just for cleaning?” questioned Sudheer before being taken into custody.

One of his close friends Kanaka Prithvi gave us an insight of what went through Sudheer’s mind. “Everyday we used to go and eat in Arena (a food court) and everyday he became restless seeing nearly 15 workers on the cricket ground. He even thought a couple of times to try and approach the workers but the security people whistled at him and asked him to keep of the grass.”

It was probably then that he decided to take some action. He reportedly managed to sneak in a cigarette lighter that looked like a pistol when he went to Mysore for the weekend. Last Sunday, dressed up as a food court employee, Sudheer came to Arena unnoticed and then ran on to the ground where some 20 workers are busy cutting the grass. He took hostage of five of them and threatened to kill them if the remaining doesn’t start playing cricket immediately.

It was only after the HR team came and played a T20 match with the workers that he came out and surrendered. The five victims, who suffered from a trauma, were taken to the local hospital. Sudheer was seen shouting with joy and even removed his shirt in a mad celebration mode during the match. He laughed hysterically after he gave the lighter away to the senior member of the HR team who happened to be the captain if the team and is apparently a very good fast bowler.

There have been several such instances lately in the campus where the trainees got frustrated seeing all the maintenance and no usage of most of the ECC facilities. Last month a trainee named Sunny Kiran attempted suicide after noticing the staff cleaning the sand near the rock climbing area. “It is going out of hand” Sunny explained later. “Why do you have to keep it so clean when not even a single person uses it??”

However the authorities denied any such allegations and further stated that they use the facilities themselves at night when all the trainees are usually busy doing their assignments. But these statements didn’t satisfy the Sudheer supporters in the campus. “That is not at all true. They’re lying” shouted Sindhu, an angry trainee who firmly believes that the foreign clients who are seen roaming in the campus are actually junior artists hired to give the place a posh look. She even goes on to say that she saw them being paid on daily basis.

On an unnecessary note, the HR team lost the T20 match by 38 runs.

Inspired from the utterly funny and crazily creative http://www.fakingnews.com

A teacher was fired for assigning that book for the class study. It was banned in many countries. It still is considered as a bad impact on the adolescent minds that might read it.  To put it straight, it is probably the most controversial book in recent history. But I had no idea about it until I was watching a Southpark episode that makes fun of the book by saying how over rated it is and how meaningless the controversies are. But what really caught my attention was what I found out when I was wiki-ing about it.

A guy named Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon (Lennon doesn’t need an introduction but for those who have no idea, he is one of the founding members of THE BEATLES) by shooting him with a gun. But what was shocking here was that the killer did not run away from the scene but simply sat on the pavement reading THE CATCHER IN THE RYE. Yes, that was the book I was referring to. The Catcher in the Rye, written by J.D.Salinger. It was first published in 1951 and it sold over 65 million copies around the globe.

Later during the trial, Mark made it clear that he imagined himself as Holden Caulfield, the protagonist of the book. He wrote “This is my statement” on the book that he was reading when he shot Lennon and signed it as Holden Caulfield.

With an introduction like this, there was no way I could resist myself from reading it. After few weeks of searching, I finally got my hands on the book when I was undergoing industrial training in Hyderabad. I remember buying it for a mere 80/- on the footpath. Anyway, as I began reading the first few pages, I found the book very less interesting and slow paced. I thought it might have connected to the people few decades ago. But as I kept reading through the pages, I understood that it was not just another novel. Holden Caulfield came alive and took me through his adolescence making sure he was showing me that I was like him in many ways. He made me forget that he was just an imaginary character created by a writer.

The first person narration is so gripping that I found myself being restless when I had to stop for dinner or when I had to take a leak. For more of an introvert like me, reading through the lines that Holden spoke was something that I was able to connect easily. Holden doesn’t explain what was happening to him or the incidents that he was facing. He speaks what he has in his mind. That is what I simply couldn’t resist or to say in Holden’s words, “It killed me”. I will not go into details of the books content as there will be nothing much to talk about. It is the narration that has made the book so popular regardless of the controversies and it is that narration that made Holden the icon for teenage rebellion.

Before reading the book, when ever I thought of what I wanted to become, I always pictured myself standing on the top of my apartment building (on the overhead tank) on a rainy day, just after the rain stopped. Wearing shorts with my shirt buttons open. As I spread my hands, the cool breeze that flew (after the rain stopped) would gently touch me flapping my shirt as it passed by. That was what I wanted to become. That is what I want to become. Even if I never said these exact same lines to anybody, that image was what I had in my mind.

In the book, when asked by his sister about what he wanted to become in future, Holden simply says the following lines:

“I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me.  And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That’s all I do all day.  I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.  I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.” 

I just couldn’t believe my eyes when I read those lines. As I was growing up, when ever I think of what I wanted to become, there will always be flashes of imagination that came into my mind. When I wanted to study in an IIT, what came into my mind was me, going to classes on a cycle or sitting in the class. When I knew I was going to join in Infosys, I pictured myself sitting infront of a computer doing some codes or whatever.

The point I’m making here is that no matter what our plans for the future are, we all have these fantasies (crazy or practical) of how we might be once we reach there. However there will be very few instances that we actually do what we imagine, even if we become what we wanted to become. There will be several other things that we will be doing. Nevertheless, we cannot possibly avoid the fantasies and come to think of it, there is no need to avoid them either.

What Holden proved to me was that there was a part of him beneath what I am as a person. He was probably there is every person that enjoyed reading the book. After reading the book I understood how it motivated a person to kill another human being. The narration in the book had so much impact on me that I began to embrace and accept the demons, confusions, frustrations that I had as a person. I never felt insecure however crazy my mind often drove me. I began to accept myself better. For the weak minded (if I can say that about Mark David Chapman) it simply drove away his own identity and took control over him entirely. That might be the reason why he imagined himself to be Holden. It still shocks that Mark actually stood up and read a paragraph from the book and silently sat down in the court room after his final verdict was given by the judge.

To me Holden just went through confusion, frustration, hatred, helplessness, and several other feelings that my vocabulary won’t permit me to explain. These are the same feelings that I went through or in that case anybody would probably go through during his adolescence. Even if the incidents may differ, the basic human emotions are same and that is what connected me to Holden Caulfield and this is what that brought out the Holden in ME.

Some memorable lines by Holden:

“I don’t even know what I was running for – I guess I just felt like it.”

“I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.  It’s awful.  If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera.  It’s terrible.”

“When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around.  I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something.  Only, I don’t go.  I’m too worried to go.  I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go.”

“All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”

“It’s really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.”

“That’s the thing about girls.  Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.  Girls, Jesus Christ!! Tthey can drive you crazy.  They really can.”

I really cannot stop when I begin to narrate his words. I would like to suggest you to read through the lines and experience Holden by yourselves.