She-Spy: 10 Tips for Girls!!

There are always some subtle similarities between all the great people in the world. Having a beard like all the Athenian philosophers, studying under a streetlamp and most importantly being kind and helpful to women. I have tried growing a beard for the last three months and ended up looking like Zach Galifianakis instead of Rabindranath Tagore. About studying… hmmm… Errr… uhhh… I don’t like studying even if it is an AC room so that has been ruled out. More over there are stray dogs on the streets that I’m allergic to (not “afraid of” mind you). So, the only option left for me is to help women. Therefore, I have decided to contribute to the welfare of the female population by providing valid tips for young girls to deal with the biggest problem they face: Finding secrets of their boyfriends. So, I have shaved off my three month old beard thinking of tips while doing it and have posted them here. Good luck…Sudhams

So here goes:

Tip1: Once you enter a relationship it is obvious that the girl knows the passwords of all his profiles even before knowing his parents’ names. So, why wait? Go to his inbox and read all his mails. Check for any subscriptions to adult sites, gift orders in flipkart addressed to other girls etc. Also see the sent items. But most importantly, open the chats and you’ll know what to do. Read not just the chats with other girls, but also with boys. You never know, he might me gay or those chats might feature you.

Tip2: There is nothing much to say about how facebook can be used to spy on somebody. But now that you also have his password, go read all his messages and don’t forget to check for the pokes. If you are really insecure in your relationship, you can go as far as to creating a fake profile but that is just mean.

Tip3: Now that we are talking about the online measures, let me just finish with it.

>> You can check the IRCTC booking history to check if he is really going to the place he said he was going to.

>> His Flipkart shopping history.

>> Bank statement, if he was kind enough to share that password and id as well.

Tip4: Give him something awful to eat and tell him that you cooked it. He might spit it out and yell at you or chew it and give you a smile while trying not to puke. If it is the latter, marry that guy right there.

Tip5: This might seem mean but take a note of his bike/car “distance travelled” reading and do the math on a weekly basis.

Total distance = Distance he travelled with you + Distance he told he travelled without you (with 5% error)

If at all the equation doesn’t satisfy, it’s time you increase the surveillance.

Tip6: Call him during odd times in a day and ask where he is. If he keeps telling the same place, there is a high chance that he’s making this up. Choose a proper situation and make a surprise visit. If he is there, it would be sweet of you and if not, you have your answer.

Tip7: Check his wallet for condoms and if you find any, think for a second before you take a decision. Should you be angry on him for being a jerk or be glad because he was thoughtful enough to carry protection. He has seen the Government campaigns obviously. So think.

Tip8: Friends have so much to tell about a guy. This I say not figuratively but quite literally. Engage in a casual chat with his friends and say random things like

>> I know everything about him you know…

>> He doesn’t hide anything from me…

The natural human instinct drives them to prove you wrong and Bingo you’ll get what you want.

Tip9: Don’t ever miss an opportunity to check his text messages. A mobile phone has more to offer about a boy than his curriculum vitae.  Also check if there are any hidden files on his PC/Laptop. Not to mention the browser history but since that is a very old trick, you’ll probably find it empty.

Tip10: Talk to him. Most boys are basically very simple. We don’t understand all your hidden agendas. We don’t think about the consequences when answering your questions because we don’t take things that seriously. So just talk to us and listen to what we have to say. You won’t miss anything unless you over think. If you need the other person to be just like you that would be like seeking a lesbian. Remember that boys will be boys and cherish the fact that one such boy is crazy about you and that even with so many things in his plate; he still likes spending his time with you. Give him the space that he needs; sit back and see how much he has to offer.

Test for Patience: See what your mom says that irritates your dad thoroughly and do the same to him.

That will be all for now and before I close, there is a bonus tip that you might find useful as it is comes as a surprise. Did you know that you could log into a YouTube profile with simple Google account? Now go and check out all the view history of the guy and see if there is anything interesting. Don’t give up if you didn’t find anything. Check out metacafe.com and dailymotion.com sites as well. If the history is empty, that obviously means he read this post before you did.

P.s… Kindly note that if you decide to find his secrets, it is certain that you don’t trust the guy enough. If you do choose to ignore this, I can only say one thing…. Can you resist the temptation??? GOOD LUCK 😀 😀 *evil laugh*

Cheers!!

Follow the writer on Twitter @Sudhams